Lieutenant
Colonel Adam Hackel
Calmly defining courage
by Denny
Meyer |
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Lieutenant
Colonel Adam W . Hackel had to find his courage
at a very early age after he lost both parents
in succession and he faced the world alone as a
young teenager. As if that were not enough for
anyone to have to deal with, he also knew he was
gay -furthering his isolation in the military
boarding academy where he spent his youth. If
you can remember ever having felt alone without
anyone to turn to as a child, his experience can
make you burst into tears just imagining what he
went through. And yet, by his own account, he
faced forward and marched into making his own
way educationally and into a military career.
He thrived in his military school and won a
partial college scholarship from the American
Legion, went through ROTC, was commissioned as
an officer, served in combat in Iraq, and after
a seventeen year career has just assumed command
of a USAR Public Affairs Operations Center.
His father enlisted in the Marines at the age of
16 during World War II and drove a "Duck" ferrying
troops back and forth through enemy fire during
the Battle of Iwo Jima. His uncles all served
in the Navy.
Now, with that background, you might think LTC
Hackel would be one tough bulldog to deal with
and a terror to his troops, with an explosive
chip on his shoulder. But, in reality, you
could not meet a kinder gentler soul, with a
calm demeanor and a clearer patriotic commitment
to serving his country and being a guide to his
troops. It is that character, perhaps, that
enabled him to have commanded a Dual Purpose
(Smoke/DECON) Chemical Company, among other
command and staff assignments during his ongoing
career. While in Iraq, he served in Major
cities through the country; his awards include a
Bronze Star, a Meritorious Service Medal, a
Combat Action Badge, and an Army Commendation
Medal with 3 oak leaf clusters. In his civilian
career, he is a school's Director of
Instrumental Music. He holds a masters and
doctorate degree in education. And he is
engaged to marry his partner of 12 years with
whom they are raising their adopted daughter.
Adam Hackel has fond memories of his
early childhood with his kind and deeply
caring parents. He remembers his father
taking him camping when, as they were
breaking camp, it began to rain
torrentially. His father calmly and
gently told him, "Its OK, its no big
deal." (What's a little rain, after
all, to a man who survived hails of
mortar fire as a teenager in mortal
combat). Although those family times
were all too brief, his memory of who
his parents were has endured throughout
his life to form his character and
courage.
In addition to his rigorous
studies and participation in ROTC, he worked for
the police force while in college. He began his
service in the United States Army Reserve, and
served most of his career, under the Don't Ask
Don't Tell policy; and had to endure hearing
people say short-sighted discriminatory
things. But, our American culture had already
begun to change. Unlike the deep
camouflage-closet required to survive by those
who had "served in silence" in earlier eras, who
he was was not exactly a secret. Yet, in his
presence many people stifled the kind of bigoted
banter commonly heard in military environments
in earlier eras. They respected him for his
character and calm courage, it appears. Times
were changing. Nevertheless he still had to
suffer the humiliation of clandestine
communication with his partner while deployed,
holding back affection or ovations of love,
having to constantly remember to change the
gender and pretend he was speaking to a female
friend instead of the man he loves. It was
deeply frustrating knowing that he was being
denied the freedom he was fighting for. Yet, as
so many of us have done, he persevered out of
patriotism and dedication to duty.
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And now at
last that time of having to hide who you
are has ended. One can now have pride
in service as well as pride in your
family. In mid April 2012, as LTC Adam
Hackel assumed command of the 361st PAOC
with the command and control of eight
detachments as well as the command
headquarters, his friends, family and
partner in life were all present, with
their daughter in his arms, and
acknowledged with the standard unit gift
given during change of command
ceremonies. It was, indeed, no big
deal. Everyone smiled in the direction
of the 'spouse and child' when the
little baby girl cried, as small
children commonly do during dreary adult
speeches. LTC Hackel was calm and
collected as always; this was not his
first change of command ceremony, after
all. But it was the first in which his
partner was present and known to all.
For me at least, as a grizzled old
sergeant who served almost half a
century ago, it was a very big deal
indeed to have the honor of living to
see this moment of freedom. |
It
was hard for me to keep from crying;
remembering all the years of silence and
fear. His superiors didn't simply smile
in the direction of his partner and
child during the ceremony; they seemed
to beam with pride at the military
progress that day represented. When
before could there have been two men
standing in front of the unit's huge
American flag holding their child
together, with everyone present happily
taking pictures, including the unit's
own official camera crew!
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I asked Adam Hackel how he
had dealt with discrimination in the time before
the repeal of DADT, and how he sees his role as
a leader in the post DADT era. His greatest
frustration had been the need to hide who he
was, as was officially required by the DADT
policy under which he'd served, because "honor
and integrity", as taught in the academy, are
his highest values. He was also painfully aware
of the reality of "having to play that juvenile
game of pretense in a combat zone where everyone
walked around with loaded weapons." But, he
carried on, he said, knowing that he was not the
only one; and knowing that the policy would
end. And when it ended, as it has, he knew
there would be a need for senior officers to
step up, as he has done, and be straightforward
and open, to be there to protect others who have
not yet come out. He sees it as his duty as an
officer and commander to stand up in the face of
lingering adversity to serve by example and
simply be who he is; thereby saying, "this is
what is right," no secrets, no shame, just
simple pride. That, he hopes, will help to
dispel the falsehoods and ignorance of
discrimination both for those who fear anyone
who is different, and for those service members
who still fear to be themselves. Simply by
ceasing to hide who he is, he becomes a leader
whose example says, "This is who I am, this is
what I can do." That, he believes, can give
others strength and courage, as well as
eradicating distrust among those with lingering
doubt.
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On their feet
throughout the Change of Command
ceremony, the members of his unit could
see his partner and child in the small
audience. They didn't have to wonder
who this man was, who would lead them in
any future deployment. They could see
that, like many of them, he had a family
from which he would be separated. When
he had been in Iraq, under DADT, his
family had to be hidden; they didn't
exist in his records, they were unknown
to the Department of Defense, and they
were ineligible for family benefits of
any kind. |
Unfortunately, the last item
above remains true to this day, even after the
repeal of DADT. Due to the Defense of Marriage
Act, the Pentagon is prevented from recognizing
his family for the purpose of providing family
benefits. Hence, the job of ending inequality
in our armed forces is not finished. For LTC
Adam Hackel, "Any form of arbitrary
discrimination mars us as a country; it
diminishes us as a free state; it causes us to
do things that are beneath us as a superpower."
He has hope that Congress will look at this
disparity and realize that, as the exemplar of
freedom, this nation can do nothing more
patriotic than assuring that all citizens have
full and equal rights
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For LTC Hackel,
the end of DADT was a step forward for
which he thanks the vision of former
Pennsylvania Congressman Murphy,
the fulfillment of hope by the Commander
in Chief (who signed the repeal in
2011), and the advocacy organizations
and people who believe in supporting all
of our troops. He has hope that
soon our government will take on the
responsibility of assuring that all of
our service members' families will be
equally supported, so that soldiers in
battle will be alleviated of the concern
that those they love are covered.
His goal is to simply enable all of his
troops and all of their families to feel
fully supported. |
© 2012 Gay Military Signal |
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