Friends and Colleagues
by
Chief Petty Officer Stuart O’Brien
Australian
Defence Forces |
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Friday, 4 July 2008
It was about 1700 (5pm) local time in Baghdad Iraq,
thought to myself, I need a break from work, so went to
say hi to a civilian friend in billeting, Stacey.
Chatted for a bit about our day and to see how things
were back home, for Stacey – the US, for me –
Australia. Shortly after, headed back to my hooch to
sort out my washing and check some e-mails. Then a
huge explosion rocked my hooch – thinking to myself
that one was way too close. After the all clear, I
headed back into the office so I could account for all
of the Aussie within my command. With that out of the
way the rumours started coming in on where the rocket
hit. I tried calling Stacey with no joy, her phone
rang out. Someone said it was her office that was hit.
Late that night I found out that it was a tree that
was hit, not a building, but the thing was Stacey was
standing by that tree. Loss of life in a war zone is
part of war, however, when it’s a civilian it makes
things so much harder to digest.
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ANZAC Day, 25th April, also my
birthday. We remembered our fallen at a dawn Service
within the International Zone. Following that I
escorted our 1 Star General to the CSH (Combat Support
Hospital) to visit one of our own that had been
injured a few days earlier. My hat goes off to the men
and women that work within the CSH, we where welcomed
with smiling faces and the support they offered was
more than I had expected. |
I was visiting my counter part at
Camp Victory, when Peter a US Soldier who had become
friends with us needed to talk. It seemed urgent and
he sounded upset. Peter’s partner who happened to be
serving in another unit in Iraq was killed. Peter
turned to the only people he knew that wouldn’t care
that his partner was also a guy, he came to the
Aussies for support. Not being able to tell your
supervisors or seek the support of your Chaplains or
other welfare services is tough and add being in a war
zone on top, what is a soldier to do. In my
experience, we tend to bottle these things up, these
feelings of loss, helplessness, the sickening in your
stomach – and then when you can’t hold it in any
more, you explode and break down. Our men and women
are doing it tough over there, and with Don’t Ask,
Don’t Tell in place, it’s adding another road
block in their way. Peter was lucky he had made
friends with the Australians and that we could provide
support. After all we are all over there doing it
hard; our friends are our lives, our family.
Last month I was talking to a friend in Germany,
John a Marine. He told me that his partner, Doug, was
killed in Iraq. He found out though a friend/a
confidant. The thing that struck me was, had his
friend not told him, when would he have found out? The
sad thing to me was that he was not able to return
home for his partner’s funeral, to spend time with
his extended family to greave the loss of his loved
one. The only saving grace was his friend, someone
that he trusted and that was there for him.
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My second tour in Iraq finished in July 2007, again
an experience I will never forget. I was honoured to
receive the Meritorious Service Medal from the US Army
making me feel very humble indeed especial with the
high calibre of people I was working with, people I
would happily serve with again and again. New friends
I made will be friends for life. I tell my civilian
friends here at home, that the friends you make within
the military (no matter which country), are friends
for life and it doesn’t matter if you haven’t seen
each other for years, when you do catch up, it’s
like you only parted yesterday. |
In March 2008, I was once again honoured by the US
to be invited to appear as a panelist at Georgetown
University Law Centre to speak at a conference
entitled "Sexual Orientation and Military
Preparedness – An International Perspective". I
was one of four, speaking of the changes to Open
Service for Gay and Lesbian personnel within our
militaries, the other countries included: Canada, the
United Kingdom and Israel. My message was simple, it
doesn’t matter where we are from; we join our
Militaries, our Defence Forces to serve our Country
– to do our part. We don’t care if you are gay or
lesbian, only that can you do the job.
Please note that the names used in
this article are not their real names. This is to
protect those still serving.
©
2008 Gay Military Signal
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