Profiles
in Patriotism
Kevin
Wegener
Another Leader Lost By
Denny Meyer
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Kevin
Wegener comes
across as a kind of quiet genius. He studied at
Stanford University, and is now a graduate student at
Harvard Business School. He speaks Chinese and
Spanish, and who knows what else. In plainspoken
American English, he explained to me exactly what it
was that he'd done in the Air Force. It had
something to do with laboratories, lasers, and liaisons
to Latin America. Don't ask. Captain
Kevin Wegener served in the Air
Force from 2000 to 2006. His father retired from the
Air Force as a Major; his mother worked for the
Department of Defense. As he grew up in the
Washington DC suburbs in a moderate Lutheran family,
he saw the Air Force as a path to education, opportunity, and
leadership training. During his senior year of high
school he received an Air Force ROTC
scholarship to study at Stanford. As its
recruiting slogans suggest, the Air Force had been
waiting for and got a brilliant young man who had
always been destined to be among its clever best. Ah
but alas, as soon as he was at university, like so
many others, he began to understand that he was
gay. It should not have had any relevance to his
plans and his ability to advance and do his duty for
his nation; but, to the Air Force it did matter that
he was gay. As so many of us have done who have volunteered
since World War II, he
opted to serve in silence. What was important to
him was being a scientist. As with Alvin Turing
in the UK (who deciphered the German ENIGMA code in
WWII), and other living national treasures, being gay
was an irrelevant minor personal issue mostly set
aside for their mind's work of comprehending science
and finding solutions. And so Kevin carried on through his
university studies,
commissioning, and the beginning of his brilliant service in the
Air Force.
He
loved his work. He had a good relationship with
his superiors who respected him and gave him a lot of
responsibility to represent the Air Force in
negotiations with foreign forces. What was
missing was the collegial support network that they
all took for granted when they chatted about their
wives and families. He could not dare utter one
word about his personal life. And then there was
the homophobia that they all also took for granted and
assumed he shared with them. Their anti-gay
remarks, so casually made, hurt him, made him anxious,
and ultimately made him decline a new posting to teach
political science at the Air
Force Academy. Kevin
Wegener left the Air Force in good standing, without a
word as to the real reason why. As with all proud patriots, he
was willing to sacrifice a great deal to serve his
country; but serving in silence proved to be
unbearable. He was the brilliant and outstanding
young officer that his superiors thought so highly of;
but he was not who they thought he was and the
personal conflict of his integrity made it impossible
to go on. The loss was entirely that of the Air
Force. With his mind, skills, and knowledge,
Kevin moved right on to be accepted for graduate
studies at Harvard as an openly gay man. While
waiting for the semester to begin at Harvard, he
traveled to India working with a non profit agency to
help develop a leadership curriculum for
underprivileged children there, ultimately enabling them
to enter university to achieve their potential. Next, in
Africa, he liaised between the
board of an American school and the security officers
from the American Embassy and the United Nations to
determine whether the school could reopen after local
terrorist attacks. In his spare time in Africa, he
climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. And following that, in
his post Air Force 'summer vacation' before entering
Harvard, he went to Beijing to help develop a marketing program to link
American graduate students with programs to study in
China. Kevin Wegener is only 29 years old.
One can only imagine how he might have served the Air
Force if there had been no need to hide who he
happened to love. Kevin
Wegener wrote the essay below, as he prepared to leave
the Air Force, explaining in his own words why leaving
the Air Force was the most difficult decision he'd
ever made.
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My hands were shaking. I could feel
the perspiration beading down my face. I had a last
moment of doubt. What would my parents think? My dad was
retired from the Air Force and my mom had served the
Army for the last thirty years. If anyone from my job
knew, then my career would end. But I knew I had to be
true to myself. So I took the leap and said, "Mom.
Dad. I'm gay."
I am a captain in the Air Force,
indoctrinated in the core values: "Integrity First;
Service Before Self; Excellence in All We Do." The
last two I have embraced, serving my country with all my
heart. But the first one, "Integrity First,"
has torn me, forcing me to choose between being true to
myself or true to my country. According to the
"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy a gay man can't
openly serve in the military. So every time I walk down
the street with my partner Phil, I am careful to not
touch
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him
too long in fear that my workmates might catch me. Even when I win awards such as the International
Award for Armaments Cooperation, and I am asked to bring
those who have most supported me, I have to tell my
greatest cheerleader, "Phil, I'm sorry but you
can't come."
For the last five years, I have
lived two separate lives. In one life, I am the straight
military man striving to do my job as best I can without
a personal life. In my other life, I have a partner and
friends who know me…all of me. Accepting who I am was
difficult, but living a lie has been infinitely worse.
So I have finally made the most difficult decision of my
life: to leave the Air Force and pursue a new way to
serve my country. I am finally ready to make this leap
and be true to not only my country, my friends, my
family, and my partner, but most importantly to be true
to myself.
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©
2007 Gay Military Signal
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